About two years ago, I began taking the Pilates class that we talk about frequently.

We talk a lot in this class. Think of it like a happy hour — except instead of drinking 300 calories worth of crap, we burn it, and then feel the effects of it in a Pilates-like hangover for three to four days.

During one of these said discussions, and after reading this post on Perez Hilton mentioning a particular part of Beyonce’s arm, I requested a specific type of workout that could get rid of, well, my vag-arms.

So what exactly are vag-arms? Well, it’s the part of a woman’s body between her boobs and her arms that when your arm is hanging down, well, looks like a vagina.

There. I said it. I’m mortified I even typed that word. But you have to admit, it does sort of look like that.

Here’s a similar term from Urban Dictionary that I’m not even going to type here, because this is quickly going PG-13 fast! I do love this quote from the definition though:

AP (the abbreviated version of the term) is a public preview of private nudity.

So now in Pilates, we request vag-arm workouts so we aren’t giving people that public preview. And I guess that’s the @fatroll sentence… abort!

It was bound to happen. My family and I ventured up to Erie, PA for my grandfather’s 80th birthday (which actually turned into a 100+ person family reunion weekend). Factor in my inability to turn off the emotional eating button when celebrating, and it was a recipe for disaster from the beginning. My only option for dinner on Friday was pizza or salad. What would you pick in that situation? Yep, that’s what I thought. Oh, and birthday cake! Let’s not forget birthday cake.

On Saturday we all met again at the “beach” which is actually a sandy area on the side of Lake Erie for some breakfast. This consisted of donuts, home fries with bacon, eggs, fruit (why bother at this point?!) and more bacon on the side in case the home fries didn’t cut it for you.

While giving my husband a tour of lovely Erie in our rental Hummer (this is a whole other story in itself), my family stumbled upon Whippy Dip ice cream stand which is an institution in our family after years of annual summer trips to see my mom’s family. Needless to say, we all decided we’d be having ice cream for lunch. Josh was horrified.

Later that evening, we all convened again for a family fish fry at my uncle’s. By Sunday morning I threw in the towel and tried to get back on track with one of the only two healthy options our restaurant had to offer – two eggs and sliced tomatoes.

I’m feeling a little better now that Christi made us do lunges around our pilates studio building last night, but this is still going to be one tough weigh in week.

All I need to do is burn more calories than I eat. Simple, right? Knowing that I’m not very good at dieting, I intend to increase the frequency of my workouts, which at the present involves a pitiful trip to pilates once a week.

While I was researching my plan of action, Kristine shared this helpful article with me, which essentially lists the workout consequences if I choose to not cut out some of my favorite foods.

My first thought: I think I’d be willing to walk 60 minutes if that meant I could eat a chocolate frosted donut. They even make the consequences of eating a cinnamon roll fun – 85 minutes of dancing? I could totally do that. I think I might even enjoy it.  Yes, I think I will add dancing to my weekly workout list.

With thoughts like that it’s needless to say, I’m already off to a rough start with Day 1. As I was reaching in my freezer this morning to grab my delicious 400 calorie frozen lunch to take to work, a button burst right off the sleeve of my dress. Ouch. Apparently I should add arm fat to my fat roll issue.

One of my favorite methods of working out is Pilates (Meredith, Ashley and myself are in a mat class at Reform Pilates in central Austin) — think of it like yoga but more geared towards leaner muscles as opposed to meditation. I mean, if Madonna does it, it must be good, right?!

Anywho, a former colleagues, K im,  is a Pilates instructor at the downtown Austin YMCA. Her blog, Energetic Space (a must-read) is a great place to get tips and tricks on all things exercise. AND starting the week of June 21, Kim is having a weekly drawing via her Web site for a free mat session.

For more information on the contest, visit: http://energeticspace.blogspot.com/2009/06/enter-for-free-energetic-space-pilates.html.