Out of Control Fatroll

On Fridays, we plan to bring you the best, craziest, most informative “fat roll”, “fat jeans”, “muffin top” stories on the Web for your reading enjoyment.

The Vancouver Sun ran a story Thursday on why several women’s apparel stores and lines (Ann Taylor, Ellen Tracy, Liz Claiborne) are slashing many of their plus-size clothing options. Crain’s Business reports that Ann Taylor is no longer offering size 16 options in their retail stores and it will only be available online. Large retailers Gap and Old Navy still offer the size in stores, and up to size 30 online. The same article states that “nearly 70% of women are size 12 and up,” which makes these moves even more peculiar.

Plastic surgery freak and recent Playboy cover girl Lisa Rinna was recently interviewed by Express Night Out (part of the Washington Post) to talk about, um, “aging gracefully.” Really?! Among her crazy comments:

I just feel like anyone who gets moving will get that release of endorphins, which are natural Prozac. But, still, getting started exercising is the hardest thing. You have to ask yourself, “Would I rather be fat, or would I rather feel good and fit into my jeans?

I was going to make a comment about how choosing to live a healthy lifestyle really isn’t broken down into those two options, but the whole point of this Web site is for us girls to fit into a pair of jeans, so I’ll keep my mouth shut.

Phoenix television station KTVK’s “Arizona Family” Web site had a great article and video around getting in shape for the summer.  Personal trainer Chris Powell is quoted in the article stating:

Food is not the only thing that has to change to help you look good in that swimsuit. Exercise is also a big part. Some areas to work on include shoulders, thighs and the mid-section otherwise known as the dreaded muffin top. Chris explains, ‘It’s something we all hear about is the muffin top and we see it pretty much everywhere now a days. And it’s those tight jeans and we get this mid-section kind of popping up out of the top.’ Chris says one way to get rid of the muffin top is to watch what you eat and walk. He says, “We’re talking about nutrition. We’re talking about light cardio which is maximizing fat loss right through the midsection.’

So confirming what we all dreaded to be true – eat better and you’ll lose the fat roll. Crunches just don’t cut it.

If you live in Ireland and have a muffin top, sign up for the reality show “Off the Rails” to get a makeover, British style. Swoon. I would get fat and move to Ireland just to be chastised and humiliated in a thick Irish accent.

And you may have seen the recent Oprah/KFC promotion around “free” un-fried chicken at KFC. Philly.com ran a great story by Celia Rivenbark about the oxymoron of getting grilled chicken at a “Kentucky Fried Chicken” joint.  She recounts a riot that broke out in Manhattan around the promotion, stating:

When investment bankers and fashion industry bigwigs are slugging it out for a place in line for a free wing and thigh dinner, we should all be sore afraid. Police were called when the KFC couldn’t honor all the free coupons downloaded from O’s Web site. Fistfights ensued. Ugly words were hollered. It was like watching an old “Springer” show without the white-trash chick with the muffin top spilling over her jeans yanking out her boyfriend’s new lover’s weave. Yeah. Just like that.

Looks like a few people had an out of control fat roll that needs some taking care of.

Finally, this has nothing to do with fat rolls (unless you count this guy’s oddly shaped stomach), but this Web site was brought to my attention from Ashley’s roommate, Lindsey.  Awkward Family Photos is like sitting through a train-wreck of various family photos, each more disturbing (and hilarious) than the next. It’s worth it, I promise.

Feel free to submit your favorite “fat roll” story you find on the Web by tweeting the link to @fatroll. 

Happy Friday!